7 Things Diners and Servers Need to Stop Saying

Nobody ever wants to say something that annoys another person, but sometimes it’s a matter of semantics. The words we use and the order in which they are placed can be the difference between sounding polite and friendly or demanding and obtuse. Both servers and customers can be guilty of saying things that could possibly have been said in a slightly better way.

I'll do the…

Customer: As a server, one thing that grated on my last nerve was when someone told me what they wanted to order by saying either, “I need,” “Get me,” or “I’ll do.” No, Bob, you don’t “need” the broiled salmon, you just want it. While food overall is a necessity to, you know, live, saying you need something like grilled artichoke hearts is a tad dramatic. If you’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, you might need water, but if you had lunch five hours earlier, you don’t need bread as soon as you sit down. 

Using the phrases “get me” or “gimme” to request a cheeseburger takes things into more of a servant than server role, and saying you’ll “do” the pasta is just plain weird. As an alternative, say “I’ll have,” or “I would like.”

Are you still working on that?

Server: When attempting to clear a plate, many servers will ask their customer, “Are you still working on that?” Customers don’t like it. If the steak is so tough that it practically needs a cross cut saw to get through it, it might seem like work, but for the most part eating a plateful of food prepared by someone else is not considered manual labor. 

Instead, say, “Are you still enjoying that?” This will get the same response but won’t sound like eating at a restaurant is some kind of a chore.

You forgot the…

Customer: Sometimes a server might forget to bring something to a table. It happens. When one person is handling an entire section of customers, a request for an extra side of ranch dressing can go in one ear and out the other never to be thought of again until the middle of the night during a sweaty dream. Saying. “You forgot the ranch!” is accusatory. It’s also possible that it wasn’t forgotten; it just hasn’t happened yet. It’s better to give a gentle reminder, like, “Oh, I would still like that extra ranch, please.”

Do you need change?

Server: If you’re picking up a pile of bills from a table, don’t say, “Do you need change?” It comes across as a teeny bit lazy, like you don’t really want to go back to the table again if you don’t have to. It can also make the customer feel awkward if the change is way more than they planned on tipping. I asked it once and the response was, “You were swell, but I’m not leaving you a 50% tip.” That was the last time I said it. 

Instead, say “I’ll be right back with your change.” The customer will then either thank you or tell you it’s not necessary. Either way, it makes it appear that you are doing a great job because you were prepared to do one final task for them.

This is gross

Customer: Food is subjective and one person’s trash is another person’s tres leches cake. Sometimes something might not live up to the expectation which is perfectly all right. However, saying, “This is disgusting,” about a particular plate of food might sound like it was made incorrectly when the truth is it’s just now what you planned on. 

A better way to express dissatisfaction is to say, “This isn’t to my liking,” or “This isn’t what I expected it to be.” It’s truthful and a server will be more willing to solve the problem than if you simply say it’s gross.

You guys

Server: When I was waiting tables in Brooklyn years ago, I asked a table of three women, “Do you guys need anything else?” They took offense to the term despite “you guys” definitely being a colloquialism. I apologized and not 10 minutes later I said, “I’ll get you guys some more water.” They berated me again for my lack of professionalism. Some women don’t mind “you guys” while others don’t like “ladies.” You can’t go wrong with “gentleman” when talking to men, but using the word makes me feel like my name is Jeeves or Hobson. 

I have since switched over to “y’all” which was easy for this Texas boy to do. “Folks” also works, but either word is the perfect way to not accidentally misgender someone.

No worries

Both: Don’t say, “no worries” or “no problem.” You’re welcome.